OK, so the initial anger and depression has subsided somewhat, and i want to come to acceptance but i just don't know where to go from here. i feel helpless. i'm hoping things will work themselves out, but i am just so scared and worried and uneasy. The only good thing to come out of this is the camraderie i feel with people here in new york, but its the camraderie that one only feels after a tragic event. A guy didn't charge me tax on my food at an expensive coffee shop in harlem the other day because i was venting about bush. that was nice. i can't get over this nagging feeling that i have to _do something_. i heard only 20% of manhattan voted for bush. this is the center of the terrorism attack. 80% OF THE PEOPLE WHOSE CITY WAS ATTACKED DO NOT FEEL SAFE WITH BUSH AND TERRORISM WAS SUPPOSEDLY THE NUMBER ONE ISSUE FOR MOST PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR BUSH. i just don't get it...i went to see a depressing political movie just to get my mind off my current political depression. i saw a screening of "Hotel Rwanda" the other day. it was really powerful and don cheadle was amazing in it. don cheadle, the director terry george and Paul Rusesabagina whose life the film is based on were all at the screening. don cheadle was great and kept making allusions to the elections. i think i was more in awe of paul though and the audience gave him a standing ovation. it is being called the "schindler's list" of the year. i think it will get great critical reviews and possible oscar nominations. i don't know how it will fair with audiences though. it is a real wake up call for america and the western world but i don't know if people are ready to digest it. despite my despair for humanity i am amazed at how intelligent and perceptive many people really are about what is going on in the world, but maybe its only in new york. my current employment is test screening movie trailers at the movie theater. i also see the cultural divide between latinos/blacks and whites. its a very interesting sociological study. for example, most latinos and blacks did not like "coach carter" starring samuel l. jackson about a basketball coach who changes the lives of inner city youths, whereas white people think it is a great movie for "minorities." well, if anyone has any suggestions about what to do politically i'm all ears. fight, but how?